Sunday, 22 July 2012


It's Thursday and it's two days before I go to Spain so I told carly to come over and I would take her out for a meal and then go with her to some art gallery opening she really wanted to go to, so we get all dressed up and go out and I mingle and pretend I know anything about art (I'm wearing a tie and all), so eventually we stumble home and fall down on the sofa, she asks if I’m going to stick something on, I look at her and pause for a second, am I really going to do this? Of course I f*****g am, BAM IT'S GHOST RIDER TIME.

Okay so first can I just say I completely forgot about the Ghost Rider movie for a long time, until Nicholas Cage's stunning face appeared on my television screen letting me know there was apparently a second ghost rider coming out, I’m pretty sure as soon as I heard this news I blacked out due to sheer joy and didn't recover for a few days, I’m not really sure what happened during this time but I like to imagine it was mainly spent crying tears of joy and watching Con Air and Face Off on repeat.

So anyway I get up and put Ghost Rider on, and get ready for the excellence to wash over me, to be reborn anew under the judgemental glare of Nicholas Cage, well obviously none of that happened but I did get an odd urge to buy a leather jacket and slick my hair back, so this movie starts with a 17 year old Johnny Blaze (Cage) selling his soul to the devil to heal his father from lung cancer, and that's where the plot stops, there's some stuff about blackheart the devils son and how he has to be stopped so the world doesn't end, but honestly you don't really care, you're too busy thinking about awesome wheelies and trying to figure out how Nicholas cage is somehow attractive to the women in this movie, also how he can somehow pick up a shotgun and turn it into a weapon capable of killing an angel by shooting hellfire, now I’m not really big on guns but can someone out there back me up on this?

By this point it's well past midnight and I’m trying to figure out how much longer I can stay awake, can I make it through another ghost rider movie? Or will I pass out like carly? At this point I remembered what my uncle ben said to me “with great blogging comes great responsibility” so in memory of my uncle I will do this, I dutifully pay the £3.99 for ghost rider on demand and wake up carly by shaking her for a second and telling her to wake up because there's more Nicholas Cage to come, I’m pretty sure she thought it was a dream so no one tell her all this actually happened okay.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, now this film again has a plot somewhere, here let me summarise it for you so I can get on with talking about myself again

  1. Buncha priests try to kill a kid or something
  2. Turns out these priests can give johnny his soul back, which he got in the last film but hey who I am to argue
  3. It's up to Ghost Rider to protect the kid the priests are trying to kill, I think
  4. Ghost rider totally kills a bunch of dudes
  5. There's a wicked awesome car flip
  6. Ghost Riders head turns blue, I’m guessing this is mainly because he's so awesome or something

anyway that pretty much sum's this film up, honestly it's pretty watchable when it's past Midnight and you're pretty deep into a 12 pack of beer, honestly the notes I took pretty much all read something like “HAHA EXPLOSION” and “HAHA MOTORCYCLES ARE AWESOME” So obviously I don't really trust those note's that much, but honestly from what I remember it's pretty bad, if you're on your own on a Sunday at midday don't watch it, take up knitting or something, but if you've stumbled home and it's midnight or later, yeah sure put it on, just make sure there aren't ANY other action movies you can put on before hand.

Overall, I was never a big fan of this character anyway, I mean I love the idea but never really clicked with the comics, if anyone wants to suggest any good trade issues I’ll give it a try though, honestly it's worth it to just stare at Cage's face for hours at a time (can he be next week's crush of the week anyone?)

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