Monday, 10 September 2012

Television Executives Read This (Please)

What am I doing at the moment? are you actually interested? no? well neither am I!, but I'm going to tell you anyway, I'm writing a really bad sitcom script and I figured while I was at it I would pitch a few ideas for shows at you guys, please don't judge me too harshly

1. Hells Kitchen in Hells Kitchen

Each week Daredevil faces off against the best chefs in the Marvel Universe, like, well I don't know, Kingpin? he looks like he likes to eat
the judging panel is made up of Matt Murdock (who is totally not daredevil), Gordon Ramsey, Eyescream (an X-men villain who can turn himself into any flavour of Ice cream) and Big Bertha, the winner gets an infinity Gauntlet

2. Takeshis Frankencastle

Do you remember that brief period in comics when the Punisher got killed by Daken and got rebuilt as Frankenstein? and they called him Frankencastle?
No? it's alright, I blocked it out too, every week hundreds of villains get sent through a series of obstacle courses, and by obstacle courses i pretty much just mean an empty field and about a thousand booby traps, I really don't recommend this show unless you're Garth Ennis

3. Two and a Half X-Men

Okay, so hear me out with this one, Charlie Sheen, the weird guy and the chubby kid all get mutant powers, Charlie Sheen gets the power to chat up every woman ever,
even though he is about fifty years older than all of them, the chubby kid gets the power to talk about food all the time..... and fart i guess and lastly the weird guy gets no perceptible powers whatsoever, but he has one, I'm not going to lie, this is mainly just a way to re brand the show and make some money for marvel by airing reruns

4. Homes under the Mjolnir

Every day (I don't know is there is an episode of this actual show everyday but it seems like it) Thor meets up with people trying to find a home on Midgard because no one really wants property in Valhalla or Hades, but the twist is if he doesn't find the couple a home they want to buy then Ragnorak occurs! fun for the whole family

5. Doctor Whose Line is it Anyway

In this cast show Doctor who has to travel through time each week and gather five comedians of any species and they have to compete in a series of sketches without any form of scripts, the winner is the first comedian to make the judge (who is a Dalek) laugh (I am pretty sure Daleks don't laugh)

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