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Wednesday, 24 October 2012

MASSIVE POST! - What's The Best Fantasy Army You Could Ever Build?

OK, so a concept came to me in a dream the other night where, for some reason, the Earth was being attacked by both zombies and aliens and only I was left to put together an army of fantasy characters to defend it... Strange I know, but bear with me here. With my vast geek  knowledge-base my brain concocted a team so freakin' awesome, and varied, that I had to put this into a post. Now granted I've changed a few characters here and there as certain ones like Earthworm Jim and Jake from Adventure Time didn't seem appropriate for this ultimate battle royale, but you'll get the general idea and maybe come up with some awesome personal teams for yourselves (post them in the comments!). All my choices seemed to have stemmed from the various figures and collectables I have in my own room here where I'm now typing this, so I had a good selection to go by!

The premise for this post/scenario now is that an unlimited number of zombies (think L4D, Walking Dead, Resident Evil versions), monsters (small and large, b-movie and horror), and aliens (Mars Attacks or Independence Day) are flooding through New York from one end and you are at the other. You have to hold the line and defend for as long as possible or defeat the entire force completely. You have a device (a random McGuffin of some sort for this specific purpose) which allows you to call upon any character your mind can muster along with their respective powers, vehicles, weapons, steeds etc, but you can only have 40 characters max (5 on each of the 8 teams outlined below).

You have to spilt them into teams as follows:
First line of defence/decimation force
Melee ground soldiers/hand to hand combat
Armed forces + tactics
Stealth and infiltration/hit squad 
Air superiority
Supernatural + magic defence team
Intelligence/brain trust
Last line of defence 
And then you have to choose one character to be your bodyguard and potentially be your partner in replenishing the human race... Wink wink.


Now I've set some rules here which must be adhered to so that this stays relatively simple:

1) Any character from comics, films, TV, literature, video games and general fantasy can be called to battle. All must be well known.

2) No original full teams can work on the same new teams (like Fantastic Four, Avengers, Justice League etc).

3) The characters must be good enough that if this scenario were real they would hold their own/win.

4) All characters must have explanations as to why they were chosen for the battle.

5) You can give alternative character options below each team that didn't make your final cut.


So here we go!




First line of defence/decimation force
This is your strongest team of soldiers, the first to meet your foes in battle. They must be devastating and literally be able to kill in the hundreds, if not thousands, in the first few minutes!

Godzilla (classic Japanese movie version)


Pros: Bigger than a building, radioactive fire breath able to decimate enemy forces from a distance, massive stomp ability, able to take on giant monstrous foes, adaptable to water combat, almost unbeatable. 
Cons: Potentially difficult to control/aim towards enemy, may be easy to get by, can be distracted by giant foe.




The Iron Giant (animated film version with full weapon capability)


Pros: Huge size, massive in-built arsenal of various weapons, built as a war machine, potentially devastating against large forces.
Cons: Can be destroyed, wants to be good and not fight, may sacrifice itself to defend children and be of no further use on the battlefield.


Captain Marvel (DC Comics version also known as Shazam or Billy Batson) 


Pros: Literally Superman without the heat vision, freeze breath etc. Captain Marvel has the wisdom of Solomon , the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus,the courage of Achilles, the speed of Mercury. Able to take on massive foes and multiple enemies due to super-strength, almost unbeatable, awesome lightning bolt power move, able to fly and move at super-speed. Total immunity to magical attacks.
Cons: Only a child before transforming, possibility of reverting to child form on the battlefield if hit by own 'Shazam' lightning bolt, talks too much, sometimes gets distracted.


Green Lantern Kilowog (Emerald Knights animated movie version)


Pros: More powerful and useful in an all out war as a ring wielder than any other Green Lantern in the corp. Destructive/weaponised constructs formed by ring are overwhelmingly powerful, excellent defensive and containment capabilities, able to fly, destroy from a distance, take the battle into space, natural strength and stamina even with depleted ring. Would be natural team leader. Epic courage level.
Cons: Ring could run out of power during battle if not recharged, can be defeated by super-human level beings, tendency to lose battle focus when allies are in danger, has anger issues.


Ben 10,000 (Animated TV cameo version also known as Ben Tennyson from the future)


Pros: An all-in-one army, ability to instantly call upon the abilities of multiple alien powers without having to change form, much more powerful and efficient than his younger counterpart, size and power level is relative to alien chosen so Ben is highly adaptable to all scenarios.
Cons: Can be cocky, possibility of Omnitrix/Omnimatrix failing/giving wrong powers/running out of power (more a problem with younger Ben and older Omnitrix).






Melee ground soldiers/hand to hand combat
Hordes of enemies flooding through the initial defence? You need brute force ultra-destructive melee foot soldiers able to annihilate whole crowds with hand to hand combat and hand-held weapons.


Kratos God of War (End level powered up video game version, all available weapons)


Pros: No mere mortal, able to take on multiple high-level foes in armed/hand to hand combat, unique charmed weapons, battle hardened, super strength, special moves, may have help from Greek Gods, good puzzle solver, agile.
Cons: Serious anger issues, difficult if not impossible to control in battle, may be vulnerable to technological weaponry. 


Doomsday (DC Comics 'Death and Return of Superman' version)


Pros: A brutal force of nature designed to destroy and kill with no remorse, Kryptonian level strength/invulnerability, can tear through armour and crowds like melted butter, potentially the first team mate you'd want to launch into battle.
Cons: Evil/wants to kill Superman at every possible moment, impossible to control, could turn on allies if there's no control method, massive collateral damage assured.


The Incredible Hulk (Green comic version)


Pros: Green Hulk is the strongest there is, pure rage as maxed out level is potentially unstoppable and can take on enemies much larger and stronger than other team mates, massive destructive capabilities.
 Cons: Possibilty of reverting back to Bruce Banner form if knocked out/stunned, serious anger issues, may want to smash puny members of his own team (especially anyone claiming to be a God).


He-Man + Battlecat (80's Cartoon version)


Pros: The most powerful man in the Universe, made for battle including his trusty steed Battlecat, impeccable use of his own sword, axe, and shield, able to take on multiple enemies at once and separate from BC to become two fighters, super strength, ferocious melee skills. 
Cons: May take a time out mid-battle to tell kids not to do drugs and respect their parents. Both weak in their alternate forms.


Alice (Resident Evil movie version with full telekinetic ability)


Pros: Probably the foremost expert in taking out hordes of zombies, epic level hand to hand/weapon specialist, with full telekinetic ability is able to take down multiple/large enemies, skills should transfer to taking on alien/monster ground forces as well as basic and special zombies. Extremely hot in leather/PVC...
Cons: Can be killed, can break down emotionally, can lose battle focus when allies need help.





Armed forces + tactics
Your melee forces are kicking ass on the battlefield and they need some serious back up from armed troops who can cut down the advancing enemies with their gun skills and alternate hand to hand capabilities. These are the skilfully trained soldiers in your army who have advanced training and the abilities/brains to use it all.


Master Chief (Halo 4 video game version)



Pros: Bringing his whole arsenal and his unique abilities to use them on the battlefield Master Chief would be a formidable grunt in a firefight, strong, agile, accurate, vigilant, great sniper, protective shields, would be the driver of the Warthog vehicle that brings the allies into battle.
Cons: Nagging holographic A.I. messing up his concentration, much better at distance fighting than melee.


Marcus Fenix (Gears of War 3 video game version)


Pros: Not unlike Master Chief, battle hardened close quarters weapon specialist, good with a variety of guns and hand to hand/chainsaw attachment combat, excellent cover tactician, huge courage level, good team player and leader.
Cons: Can be killed easily if caught in the open or overpowered by bigger creature, not at his best when on his own, better at distance fighting than melee.


Optimus Prime (Generation 1 cartoon version)



Pros: Exceedingly effective tactician and leader, proficient in hand to hand combat (energy axe especially) and blaster rifle, large size beneficial for hand to hand or causing a distraction, very strong, durable, able to turn into emergency transport if needed or to cross battlefield quickly, natural leader.
Cons: Mechanical so can be destroyed with heavy weaponry or by super powered being, probably wouldn't take orders from humans, noisy.


T-800 Terminator Exoskeleton (T2 future movie version )


Pros: Perfect expendable footsoldier, never stops until it succeeds in its mission, highly programmable, accurate, quality production leading to good durability, good with all gun-based weaponry, set up and go ease of use, will fight even with loss of limbs.
Cons: Not indestructible, useless once disabled, may run off to find Sarah Connor half way through battle, possibility of internal nuclear fuel cell exploding and killing team mates.


DOOM Space Marine (DOOM video game version with all weaponry, especially BFG)


Pros: One of the most proficient marines in video game history, able to take down planet loads of nasties of varying sizes with hand-held weaponry, give him a BFG weapon and let him rip, skilled with a chainsaw in close combat, high energy/health level.
Cons: Can be killed, hates acid, better with monstrous demons/aliens than zombies, only good with weapons in hand, doesn't work well with other.





Stealth and infiltration/hit squad
Need a team to go off on a secret and silent mission to board an alien mother ship? Assassinate an alien emperor in his throne room? Destroy the weapon systems of a ship? Or save the day from the inside whilst others keep the enemies occupied outside? This is the team you want!


Wolverine (Comic version - X-Force)


Pros: Want to get the job done? Logan is the one to send. Unrivalled hand to hand combat with indestructible Adamanitium retractable claws, proficient in stealth and silent kill techniques, trained solider,  expert tracker, takes on small and large enemies alike, can cut through almost anything with claws, natural leader or follower, healing factor, superior agility.
Cons: Susceptible to beautiful women, taunting, and magnetism. Anger issues, possibility of not following orders if he doesn't agree with them, doesn't like a-holes.


Spider-Man (Black Venom-suit comic version)


Pros: Most efficient at ninja-level stealth techniques, able to stick to walls and ceilings  hide in shadows, Spider-sense danger alert, super strength, superior agility, scientific genius level mind, suit has a mind of its own giving Peter back up if knocked unconscious, suit gives wearer higher level of dangerous fighting skills/killing probability, webs useful in all situations, still powerful without suit.
Cons: Talks too much, quipy, cocky, with suit on would be more aggressive and less agreeable, highly vulnerable to sonic weapons/discharges.


Martian Manhunter (DC Comics J'Onn J'Onzz version)


Pros: Another Superman level soldier, heat vision, flight, super strength, shape-shifting ability, phase-shift ability (very useful for infiltration/stealth), telepathy, calmness, heaviest hitter in this team.
Cons: Vulnerable to powerful psychic attacks, extremely vulnerable to fire/heat, can be caught off guard if not phased.


Batman (Jim Lee comic Bruce Wayne version)


Pros: Jim Lee version of Batman is the best/most hard-ass, flawless ninja level stealth abilities, master tactician/detective, super efficient fighter, able to out-smart almost anything biological or mechanical, utility belt, Olympic level athlete, born leader, always has a plan.
Cons: Can be killed (although not easily!), vulnerable to superhuman level combatants (Bane and above!), better working alone than in groups but still excellent team player, still only human, not always willing to kill.


Invisible Woman (Comic Fantastic Four Susan Storm version)


Pros: Invisibility, adaptive forcefield ability, excellent offensive and defensive capabilities, mother (so already kick-ass and scary), works well in a team, perfect for stealth missions.
Cons: Can be overpowered if outnumbered/out-gunned, needs backup, no real strength without shield ability.




Air superiority
The battle might be had-fought on the ground but what about letting all those flying monsters and alien spaceships fly by overhead? You need a team focused on keeping the skies clear at all times!


Superman (Comic version - any*90's version for me!*)


Pros: More effective in the air as a super-fast distance attack soldier than on the ground, heat vision, super speed, super strength, invulnerability, freeze breath, able to take down swarms of airborn enemies from a distance or close up, can also attack the ground from as high up as space, great multi-tasker, able to take down an entire mother-ship or building sized monster by himself.
Cons: Vulnerable to any form of Kryptonite (not likely the enemy will have any!), can become unfocused if civilians are in danger, tries to do too much at times, will falter if the team suffers any losses, not willing to kill.


War Machine (Comic James Rhodes version)


Pros: Air Force pilot, trained in airborne combat, massive arsenal, multiple target take-down capabilities,  good armour, super strength, A.I. assisted, soldier mentality.
Cons: Only a man in a suit of armour, possibly limited ammo, possibly limited flight time if power source wears down, not as good as other team members when fighting giant foes or mother-ships.


Silver Surfer (Annihilators comic version)


Pros: Wields the god-like 'Power Cosmic', ultra destructive energy bolt release, super strength, super speed on surfboard, wormhole creation ability, invulnerability, demi-god level overall power, excellent in air-to-air combat.
Cons: Powerless if separated from surfboard, vulnerable to certain forms of energy/radiation.


Gladiator (Annihilators comic version)


Pros: Kryptonian + level abilities, invulnerability, heat vision, frost breath, warp speed flight, fully trained soldier of the Shi'ar Empire, stronger than Juggernaut and maybe even Hulk and Superman as he said to be able to "shatter a planet". Possibly the most devastating member of the entire army!
Cons: His confidence level dictates his power level, vulnerable to certain forms of radiation.


Jetfire (Generation 1 TV white Tomcat Transformer)


Pros: Proficient in hand to hand combat and with blaster rifle as well as air to air combat in fighter plane mode, large size beneficial for alien ship /flying monster encounters or causing a distraction, very strong, durable.
Cons: Mechanical so can be destroyed with heavy weaponry or by super powered being, cocky, noisy.





Supernatural + magic defence team
So we're taking care of the basic ground forces, the skies are being cleared and we're holding back the waves... But what's this? Supernatural beings like demons and monsters are forcing their way through the lines and are immune to standard weapons and tactics! Break out the magic defence team!


Doctor Strange (Stephen Strange comic version)


Pros: The first magical character that comes to mind for anyone must be Dr. Strange! "Most powerful humanoid in the entire Marvel Universe"! Extremely proficient in all forms of magic, spells, incantations, massive offensive and defensive capabilities, energy blasts, portals, barriers etc. Able to call upon black magic when really needed.
Cons: Still only human, can be killed, uses up his own strength when casting spells so could tire out if overwhelmed.


The Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff comic version)


Pros: Not a witch by the standard definition - A mutant with the power to manipulate the law of probability through "hex" and chaos energy, the ability to change reality, change outcomes of battles, able to reverse or alter spells, make people vanish from existence, fire energy bolts, a true force to be reckoned with if she has complete control.
Cons: Abilities require pure concentration and energy/strength to use, outcomes can be erratic and totally unpredictable, powers can backfire.


Zatanna (Zatanna Zatara comic version)



Pros: DC Comic's quintessential magic wielder, large array of spells and incantations to wield in battle, part of the Justice League so fully battle proficient despite her overall look (which is hot, and distracting on a battlefield!).
Cons: Has to be able to speak to be able to cast her spells (words are said in reverse), weak as a human, quite easily overwhelmed, not as powerful as Doctor Strange on any level.


Hellboy (Mike Mignola comic version)


Pros: The magic team needs hands on magic fighters! Hellboy is the number 1 choice! Large array of supernatural defence weapons, indestructible 'Right Hand of Doom', invulnerable to fire/heat, superhuman strength, healing, endurance, can survive almost any attack even though he is hurt at the time, slow ageing and therefore at his peak, holy relics & protective talismans, proficient with guns and swords alike.
Cons: A penchant for cats and girlfriend Liz causes him to lose focus and his fighting ability from time to time, probably can be killed by something big enough!


Link (Zelda video game version)


Pros: One of the greatest hand to hand monster/supernatural fighters of all time across various games, proficient (after training) in numerous forms of medieval-style weaponry, can be healed with potions during battle, can come back from the dead, has magical weaponry, long range and short range attacks, special gadgets, special devastating attack moves, a true hero who will fight until the end, has been known to change form, excellent tactician and puzzle solver.
Cons: Can be killed if lives run out, has an annoying fairy shouting in his ear sometimes which could distract him, only really fights if a Princess is in danger.






Intelligence/brain trust
So you've got everyone out there battling on every front possible and the destruction and chaos is overwhelming. You created the army, but who's leading them and controlling their movements? Who has the brains to figure out the next move from the secure bunker, to create the winning scenario or build the necessary equipment that will win your battles? This lot will...


Professor X (90's Comic version)


Pros: Leader of the super-hero mutant team The X-Men, unfathomable telepathic abilities, able to talk to the entire army through telepathy at the same time or individually, able to crush the enemies minds if need be, combined with Cerebro can reach the entire planet and every mind left on it (if there were any left apart from you and your army).
Cons: Confined to a wheelchair which could be restrictive in a battle situation, can be attacked by psychic beings, gets tired easily, likes to be in charge.


Doctor Doom (Victor Von Doom comic version)


Pros: An exemplary mind almost the same level as Reed Richards, if not better! Proficient tactician and military commander, highly skilled at both magic usage and technology/mechanics, able to build whole robot armies, skilled combatant in both hand to hand and using magic/weapons, can fly/levitate, both offensive and defensive capabilities, warmonger, the best in the room at the art of war.
Cons: Mostly evil, dictator, power hungry, would want to take over what's left of the world once the battle is over.


Iron Man (Tony Stark comic version)


Pros: Techno/weapon genius, able to create something spectacular out of almost nothing, leader, swift thinking mind, puzzle solver, tactician, on-board A.I. system, personally capable of massive devastation with armour and weapons, great offensive and defensive capabilities, the one in the room most likely to build something to win the battle.
Cons: High stress levels, prone to drinking when stressed, disability or death if chest-based arc reactor fails/runs out of power, weak out of armour.


Yoda (Star Wars Clone Wars version)


Pros: Force manipulation allowing strong telekinesis as well as future foresight, remote viewing, mind control, telepathy, superior knowledge and experience, tactician, battle hardened general. Most likely to be able to see what's going to happen in the battle.
Cons: Small and potentially weak if caught off guard or outnumbered/overpowered. Needs to lead, not follow, vulnerable to team deaths affecting The Force and weakening him.


Doctor Who (Matt Smith version, or David Tennant if you want!)


Pros: Has defeated hundreds of alien armies and races, won almost every battle he's ever been in across space and time, was feared throughout the galaxy, always comes up with a plan, can build something amazing out of absolutely nothing, sonic screwdriver is handy in almost every situation, great tactician and puzzle solver.
Cons: Can be killed (although regenerates relatively quickly), doesn't like to lose, not good at taking orders or not being 100% in control, cocky at times, needs a partner to keep him in line (although better without one if he's expected to help kill!)






Last line of defence 
So that's it, the battle is coming to an end and the last remaining forces, both ground and airborne are headed towards you and you have one last line of defence between the enemy and you. Who do you choose? What warrior is trusted enough to hold the line and win the day? This bunch will do!


Wonder Woman (Comic version)


Pros: Quite literally a female Superman, sometimes shown to be even stronger and better at fighting than Superman or her fellow superheroes, massive offensive and defensive capabilities, indestructible gauntlets (great for fending off the oncoming arsenal), flight, super strength (as mentioned), super speed, agility, various strength based powers given by the gods, skilled Amazonian soldier, tactician, leader, best thing on the battlefield to look at flying through the air in her pants...
Cons: Can be killed (although hardly even proven), can be worn down during battle, if various adornments are removed she can get out of control with her new comic powers.


Giant Man/Ant-Man (Hank Pym comic version)


Pros: Can shrink to the size of an ant keeping the proportionate strength of a human (for flying into ears, ships etc), can call upon various swarms of insects (usually ants) to attack enemies, can use sonic weaponry via helmet, can grow to skyscraper hight with massively increased strength, genious level intellect.
Cons: Not always the bravest superhero, can be easily defeated in both small and large forms, anger issues, sometimes doesn't listen to or obey orders.


Invincible (Image Comics version)


Pros: Kryptonian-like abilities, super strength, super speed, flight, holding breath for days for space travel/fighting, near invulnerability, very proficient hand to hand combat fighter, excellent at taking on multiple enemies at the same time and clearing large crowds.
Cons: Can be beaten by higher strength level adversary, still only a teenager so not at full mental or physical potential, confidence issue.


Thor (Comic version - any)


Pros: Highly capable fighter in either hand to hand or with Mjolnir hammer, demi-god level speed, super strength, invulnerability, control and use of lighting to attack foes, flight, hammer is devastating in battle.
Cons: Can be killed (has been numerous times), brash, doesn't always do what he's told to, doesn't hold back when told to, sometimes the best and worst member of a team.


NOVA (Nova Prime Richard Rider Comic version)


Pros: Marvel's version of a Green Lantern, hugely powerful wielding the entirety of the Nova force, World Mind super computer A.I. guidance system, energy blasts, flight, strength, speed, various offensive and defensive capabilities, can open wormholes, can adsorb energy directed at him, various technological upgrades in suit and helmet perfect for the battlefield. Excellent last line of defence member.
Cons: He is nothing without the suit, just human. Can be killed, can be overpowered by a superior being, susceptible to certain forms of energy and radiation.










Bodyguard
Annnnnnnnnd finally, who would I choose as my personal bodyguard, the one person that would stand by me through thick and thin, who would not only protect with me with their life (I am a feeble human in all of this you know!) but would also choose to replenish the human race with me? Wee it just had to be Powergirl now didn't it? OK so she's Kryptonian and we may not be compatible, but I'm not going to tell her that if you're not! She'd be super-powerful (as much as Superman if not more) she'd be super-hot, and she'd be all mine... Wa ha ha ha ha!!!! :P








To give you some idea of some other choices I was playing with here I've listed some of the characters that didn't make the cut:

Galactus (too big and silly for this scenario)
Cthulu (prefer Godzilla)
King Kong (too easily killed, Godzilla has fire-breath!)
Mecha Kong (nope)
Marshmallow Man (too silly and easily defeated)
Captain America (wouldn't last long)
Supergirl (got Superman and too many other like her) 
Predator (invisble and cool weapons, but had cooler members for the stealth team)
Robocop (too slow to aim gun and move)
Boba Fett (not strong enough as a fighter)
Super Mario (thought of Fire Mario, but a bit toooooo silly!)
Dante (Devil May Cry, preferred others)
Solid Snake (not good enough for stealth team)
The Phantom (Defender of the Earth, not powerful enough)
Lara Croft (seriously?)
The Thing (love him, but better choices unfortunately)
Darkwing Duck (YES! But no.)
Bender (Futurama, not vicious enough!)
Jake (Adventure Time - Adaptive like Plastic Man, but no)
Plastic Man (cool but no)
Raphael (TMNT - Great fighter and great stealth, but wanted all four)
Lion-O (Fight alongside He-Man! But better choices again...)
Earthworm Jim (cool but ultimately not powerful and a bit cheesy)
Chuck Norris (He'd just win the war by showing his face, so no)


You get the jist of this, so many choices...

Hope you had fun reading. :)







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